u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
sex in a hospital.. check
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
