At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
