the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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