I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
