therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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