Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
