I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
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My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
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When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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