Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
