i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
