But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
