It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
