like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
