At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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