best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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