You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sorry about my life...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
