i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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