this boner is exhausting
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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