when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
