I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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