i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
