I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
