He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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