Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have aggressive nipples.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
