He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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