Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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