Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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