I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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