just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
