Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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