If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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