I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
