No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
