is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
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Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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