if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
