She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
