yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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