i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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