I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
