You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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