i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
