i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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