Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
