I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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