OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
