My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
