I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I've blown a few things in my day
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
