Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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