she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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