I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Success! We fucked roommates!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
