somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
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Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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