let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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