yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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