It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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