i dedicated my morning wood to you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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