The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
