You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
