I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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