I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
