he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
