I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
