i think my tv is drunk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
