Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
