I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
