i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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