and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize