phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
